Festie Wear Uber Alles!

In ode to the crew and I going to SOAK this weekend, I decided that today's blog would be brought to you by Festival Gear. Festie Wear: making ugly people uglier since the early 90's.

There are many types of festivals, but the ones I'm referring to are the outdoor music events celebrated under themes such as Mother Earth, Universal Energy, We Love Each Other, or Let's Get Really Fucked Up In The Woods. Clothing options range from loose hemp clothing, anime-style wigs and accessories, loose raver pants and blindingly pastel fishnets, to faerie wings and faux fur.

Bright colors are a large piece of festie-goers' wear but strangely so is white. I've never quite understood how wearing all white on a camping trip became a thing but you've got to respect the sheer amount of energy and bleach put into such a fashion statement. They obviously have a lot of free time on their hands.

Faux fur ensembles are another staple of the festie clothing diet. Faux fur is soft, warm, and the best thing ever when you're rolling around on the ground with your friends, high as a kite. They come in many different forms but don't get them confused with fursuits. It's a mistake you'll only make once.

Take a look at the two pictures below. You might think that they have pretty much the same purpose in festival land but you'd be wrong. SO WRONG! The fur bodysuit on the top says, "I plan on shaking and partying until I'm so dehydrated they have to carry me to the med-tent" while the fursuit on the bottom states, "I like to pretend like I'm an animal and fuck." Which one is worse to run into in the woods? The one without the mask. He'll spend the rest of the night telling you about the festival's "energy" and how all these people bringing "positive intent" together makes the world a better place. In the meantime, some fourteen year old girls will be giggling and rolling around behind him with enough drugs in their system to take care of the local hospital's ICU.

A not so new trend but one that's gotten progressively more popular, and therefore cheaper looking, are hair falls. Falls are faux bundles of "hair" made of fake hair, yarn, tubing, wires, fake dreads- pretty much anything you could find in a dumpster. Falls have become popular with the kids in many scenes, including goth, industrial, steampunk, ravers, and tattooed dancers in Portland. When done well, falls look like cybernetic accessories from Blade Runner. When done badly, you look like your grandma knit you a doily and then you let it unravel on either side of your head. If you can't tell, I'm not a fan of bad falls.

Despite there being similarities in clothing, people, music, and drug consumption, festivals and raves are not the same thing. What's the difference? Umm... one is outside with camping, and there's usually more fire, and umm... yeah. I'm not really sure but there IS a difference. Mainly the lack of spun out sixteen year olds. Sometimes. Also it's not in an illegally used warehouse? Okay, I really don't know the difference between a rave and a festival, but there is one. I think.